Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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