I met the friendliest cop last night
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize