I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
