it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i now understand why vodka
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
