You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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