So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
