at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
