Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
