margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
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Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
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I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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