He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
