i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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