I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize