My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
