Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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