It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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