Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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