I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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