All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
