alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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