sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
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he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
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Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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