So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
