Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you inspire me to be a worse person
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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