At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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