Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
