i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
