My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
