you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Watching her eat just hurts me
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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