Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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