let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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