Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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