I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
