Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
