yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
