There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
