You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
