Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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