So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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