I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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