I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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