Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
