could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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