theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize