I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
