So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So vagazzling was a success
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
