I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
they need to just BURY HIM!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
