Its about making memories worth repressing
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.