so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.