the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
