Me. At least after what I've been through.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
please come you make the beer taste better
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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