do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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