Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
