Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
