i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
