he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
