plz talk dirty to me
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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