I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
