Got a toothbrush?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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