I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize