Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
