meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
please come you make the beer taste better
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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